reAL, REally. or just my HeAd

Are we alone? I mean the house is always busy with all the guests that come in, the streets lack the infrastructure to hold hundreds of people that step on it every minute hoping to get somewhere and there are people I like to call the super doped ones who kind of try to make a sense of the world.

A sense is something that has to be present in every action, in every movement that ever happens in my world. It’s simple to understand actually. Like the green life storing energy from the big orange sphere to make something to satisfy its own needs and meet some of my own specie’s. I wish I had that power but the great one won’t let us have it, or so they say. Anyway, where did I start? Oh yes. By asking the one question which is chased by almost anyone who can think (I don’t know if the green life can think).

I remember when I was dying, my people were near me. They stood and mumbled some words. But I am not bothered about that. I care more about that night than anything or anyone.

So, I was dying. It was not peaceful. How can you die in peace when people surround you and kind of cry and literally cry and are afraid to come near you? Puny. I ignored them all but I couldn’t move them because I was dying and then I look right up in the sky as cold breeze flew passed me. I felt like it kissed my cheeks and was waiting eagerly to join it in its own journey. I couldn’t wait. Maybe I would find mine, I thought.

Anyway, I was looking up and then I saw what was omnipresent throughout my life but I never actually saw them. They sparkled. But they felt purer than the teardrops being shed near me, on me and, well, everywhere around me. Puny.

I look up, continue actually, and think.

How small are we? Is this place so big, my brain, to understand a decimal of what is out there or how it works? Is there someone watching over us? Why does this night have to end when it was turning out to be the most beautiful one I ever had? (Except my first date with my first wife who is the first one to start the journey. Wait, was she the breeze!)

Then I felt something and then nothing. I could move. I could dance. I could…wait, I saw my body. Of course, I was dead. Finally, out of the pity and ready for something big. Maybe bigger than life itself. Suddenly I was all alone. I thought it to be different. I was so looking forward to a post-life after party. Darn it.

I didn’t know where to go or was I even supposed to be here. What is the point, be free to use the beloved word ‘sense’ without hesitation, of living and then dying and then to be lost? What was life? (Although I wasn’t sure if I was one right then. Just a cool breeze.) I then tried, bravely, to move higher up in the atmosphere. I wasn’t cold or hot. I was never this comfortable sleeping in my own bed. But I was never going to sleep in another one. Ever.

I move up and up and up. I was now at an altitude where most people would dream to go or would have only seen via colourful papers with specific patterns depicting something. I stood near the big orange sphere but didn’t know how to store the energy. I saw my planet. It glowed in the dark. Its silver radiance was dazzling in this other humongous world.

I ran and suddenly myself felt moving at an amazing pace. Something that is only seen in…um…I don’t think it is seen on anything. But yeah, that was the speed. And, so, I continued my journey. I moved from one planet to another and then another in search for meaning, only to find soil, some liquid, stones, sky and huge mountains. The scenes were surreal but I couldn’t stay. I had to make sense of it all. And then just like that, I landed on this extremely blue planet.

I saw animals, wearing something, move. They would sit and move and jump and much, much more. I saw life like never before. And they all looked different. Not similar like my people but very different. There was noise, rush and a lot of green and blue combination which was rare in my planet.

I stood on the road while people passed by me. I couldn’t feel a thing, neither could they. And then, out of nowhere, I felt something. A tingling feeling and blank. The eyes opened and I was a part of them. I understood what they said, what they ate, the ‘culture’ and I was different but same.

I am still very small, comparatively, but I somehow remember everything that happened someplace else. I think everyone out here also remembers but no one shares. Maybe they don’t want to lose the thing that makes them different. Otherwise, who knows, maybe we are all same.

Are we really alone then?

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